Xbox Live Indie Games: Snap Judgement (30/06/2010)
X360 0 CommentsEvery week Xbox Live's Indie Games service is flooded with new titles. Some are good, some are great and a lot are utter crap. We wade through the demos to see what's worth your time.
A mixed bunch this week, with everything from mystical fortune-tellers, to seduction simulators, emo shooters and awful avatar games. Let's get stuck in.
Pwnage of Empires - 80 MP
A twin-stick shooter/RTS hybrid that isn't especially good at either. It has the word 'Pwnage' in the title too, which immediately works against it. A whole bunch of online/offline multiplayer and co-op options impress, however, with what looks like an huge amount of content for an XBLIG. More here.
Packito Lost in Space - 240 MP
A jaunty little shooter, where each enemy can only be shot with a corresponding button press. Disappointingly, however, the demo only has two enemies. Colourful and fun, and with ever-so-slightly twitchy controls, it's like your overexciteable kid brother with a Learning Disability - simple, but loveable. More here.
Crazy Wizard starring in Creepy Castle - 80 MP
An all too familiar platformer, complete with fire traps, bastard random flying bats, moving platforms and the titular Creepy Castle. Thanks to the lovely character design and bouncy-spooky soundtrack, however, it's also pretty charming. Nice, but XBLIG has better platformers. More here.
8-bit Girlfriend - 80 MP
Bizarre chat-up simulator, where you're offered a number of dialogue options to bag your chosen Princess. Within 30 seconds of starting this one up, I picked the wrong option only for the game to say, "TWAT FAIL: That's not the three little words she wants to hear. And you're a twat." Which is probably testament to its accuracy. Gloriously crap. More here.
Ancient Trader - 240 MP
A seafaring, turn-based trader/card game thing with lovely presentation. Takes itself quite seriously. Like Pwnage of Empires, it has more depth than you can fathom from the demo. Unlike Pwnage of Empires, I'd be willing to pay to find out more. More here.
Vampire Rage - 80 MP
What do you do when you've gone all vampiric and accidentally killed your missus? You take to the air and exact revenge on all manner of creepy undead nasties, obviously. This emo-styled vertical shooter would have stolen all of my 20p coins if it had of been our local chip shop in 1991. It's got half a shout of earning my 80 MPs in 2010. More here.
Drum Studio - 80 MP
Fantastically entertaining for the precise amount of time the demo lasts (10 mins). Basically a digital drum kit playable via some clumsy stabs at your 360 controller, this is one for all those annoying idiots that constantly finger-tap on every available surface. Idiots like me. A recording tool helps you realise you're rubbish. More here.
German 101 - 80 MP
A German-language instructor that uses flash cards and multiple choice questions to test your lingual prowess. Unsurprisingly, the phrase for "the ball crossed the bloody line" doesn't appear. More here.
Avatars vs Zombies - 80 MP
Combining two of the most over-used elements in Xbox Live Indie Games, Avatar vs Zombies is a prettier, 3D reinvention of the XBLIG blockbuster, I MAED A GAM3 W1TH Z0MB1ES 1N IT!!!1. Unfortunately, it retains none of the charm or playability of its forebear. It also serves to remind me that I payed 320MP for a sodding Stormtrooper Avatar. That is a bad thing. I am full of self-loathing. More Here.
Avatar Scent Wars - 80 MP
Underhwelmingly slight third-person Avatar throwing game, in which you chuck smelly balls at your enemies. The fact that it allowed me to type the words "smelly balls" is one of its few redeeming features. More here.
The Omniscient Orb - 80 MP
Like a Magic 8-ball, but with slightly different "answers." Utter nonsense. More here.
Sword and Magic - 80 MP
When even retro, side-scrolling XBLIG shooters have "RPG elements," you know videogame genres are all but dead. This one has HP and levels, as well as a couple of different characters you can swap between as you go (Warrior and a Magician, hence the title). Looks like a Master System game, in good way. More here.
Licky Licky Lizards - 80 MP
Remember Hungry Hippos? This is just like this but without the thumb blisters, family arguments and bitter, crushing disappointment that you didn't get Buckaroo. Awful. More here.
Avatar Karate - 80 MP
Does exactly what it says on the tin. In the dullest way possible. A couple of different unresponsive attacks, along with block and sidestep buttons. Boring. Is it in the rules that Avatar games have to be crap? More here.
Avatar Bowman - 80 MP
Adjust the power and trajectory of your arrows to land one on your static opponent. That's it. Hopelessly limited and available in far superior forms in Flash, for free, across the internet. Pointless. More here. comments powered by Disqus